I'll be talking more about this in future blog posts. Elder law issue that is really an "everybody law" issue. What do you think of the public transportation system or arrangements in your community? In the Hampton Roads area, the transit agency is trying to do a multimillion dollar study to reimagine transit. You can see that survey here: https://transformtransit.com/about/ And you are welcome to take this survey! Please do, I encourage it. Remember though, there is a very sophisticated web of local, state, and federal laws, regulations, and rules that govern the transportation of people for profit (and for free). I want to encourage you, in my elder law attorney capacity, to be aware of how your clients "get around". Certainly most people drive themselves, but as they age, your clients may be unable, unwilling, or unallowed to drive. As an attorney focused on this area of the law, I can help those with special needs or other reasons they cannot get around, figure out what to do going forward. I want no one to "miss the bus" (or train, or scooter, or taxi) in their times of greatest needs. We need to figure this out for our other older clients. "I Missed The Bus"
Oh Oh I missed the bus..(Oh).. I missed the bus.. I missed the bus..(Oh).. I missed the bus.. [Verse 1] I went to bed late but I didn't think late would AFFECT ME Early came around then late wouldn't LET ME Wake up - WAKE UP - so I can get dressed I guess my body was mad 'cause I gave it no rest And when I finally did awake it was a quarter to 8:00 Jumped in the shower and I know I was late Stepped out put on my jeans and my uni' And said to myself if I miss school I'm ruined But I ran down hill and I RUSHED RUSHED I ran down the hill TRYIN TO CATCH THE BUS Now I'm hopin to myself everything is cool Standin on my block like a fool But (1) I'm all alone and (2) the bus is gone (3) if I miss school this weekend I'll be at home Can somebody come real fast to my rescue I'm stuck at the crib and I don't know what to do [Chorus: repeat 2x] I missed the bus (ohh) I missed the bus I missed the bus (ohh) And that is somethin I will never ever ever do again [Verse 2] I was up - HE WAS UP - but I laid back down Thinkin I could chill 'til the time came around And I did - HE DID - but a little too long Cause when I woke up yo the bus was gone I almost broke my neck, tryin to get out the door And I chased the bus 'til my feet was sore On the trail - THE TAIL - but I couldn't catch up I guess it must have been my day for me to have bad luck Cause I lost my lunch money, book bag busted Scuffed up my sneakers and I'm really disgusted And when I got to school it was the same old thing Stepped in the class and the school bell rang It was nothin I could do, I tried to explain But the teacher treated me like I was playin a game YOU LOSE YOU LOSE - the day was a no win I learned to never miss my bus again [Chorus] Written by Jermaine Dupri
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Why should you make an estate plan? Do it for love. Not for love of money or possessions, but for love towards the ones who will be left behind when you pass away. The anguish your loved ones will have to go through if your assets are unprotected, if you have no plans (or an incomplete/bad plan) is simply not worth it. Call us today, and lets get this taken care of. All 4 Love
Performed by Color Me Badd I'm so glad you're my girl I'll do anything 4 U Call U every night And give U flowers 2 I thank the Lord 4 U And think about U all the time I ask him everyday That you'll 4-ever B mine I wanna hold your hand 2 show U I'll be there I like 2 do the things That let U know I care I sing this lullabye 'Cause girl U fill me full I look into your eves You're so beautiful Oh girl I think I love ya I'm always thinkin' of ya I want ya to know I do all 4 love I love it when we're 2-gether Girl I need you 4-ever I want U 2 know I do it all 4 love I will never leave U sugar This I guarantee I look in-2 the future I see U and me Knight in shining armor I will B your fairy tale I wanna take care of U Girl, I'll serve you well I will B there 4 ya 2 catch U when U fall I'll hold U in my arms That's were U belong I sing this lullabye 'Cause girl U fill me full I look in-2 your eyes You're so beautiful... beautiful... yeah! Come here sweetheart I want U 2 know something alright Everyday N my life without U Is like a hundred years The distance B-tween us An ocean of ears See all the things I do 4 U Are 4 love dig it All 4 lovin' (all for love) All 4 U (U) All 4 lovin' U... U... U... (U) Evidently we are on a kick of motivational running songs! Here is a recent entrant for you... Read after the lyrics for the connection...
You ever have one of those days where you are just TIRED? Worn out? I'm a get up and get going kind of guy, but every once in a while, I want to roll over at 4 or 5 am when my alarm goes off and sleep all day. Had a day like that recently. Just didn't want to deal with things. Body was tired, and mind was tired, as soon as I woke up. I didn't want to keep going with this law firm roll-out and the thought pattern just started rolling through my head that I needed to just capitulate to the demands of the rest of the world and get a normal job, work for the next thirty years, and retire, then live comfortably somewhere with my wife. I started wondering--why not give up on this crazy dream of having my own law office? What was I trying to prove? I realized I wasn't trying to prove anything. I didn't need to have my own law firm to prove I was "successful" or smart, or blessed, or anything else. I am doing this to help people, earn money to make a living for myself and my family, and honor God. God has brought me this far and I will not fail, because he did not bring me where I am to see me fail. [My wife tells me this, but phrases it as "God did not bring you this far just to dump you on your butt."] So, yeah--failure is not something that I worry about, because God has arranged my life, all of it, to bring me to this point, with the resources that He has provided, so that it will all work out the way He always knew it would. This is an amazing revelation. It gave me the energy to get out of bed that morning. Honestly, it gives me the energy to keep going most days. I need to use the tremendous gifts I have been given to honor God by helping people plan for the "tough times" in their lives. I am more convinced than ever that I was put on Earth to be a good son, a good husband, a good dad, and a good estate planning and elder law attorney. I'm supposed to help others plan for the bad days in their lives (sometimes, the worst day in their lives) and in that way, somehow be a blessing to them in their time(s) of need. When I need motivation, I need to pray more. I'll definitely keep working hard to make things successful in all areas of my life, but the main thing I need to do is pray more. Won't you join me? Livin' on a Prayer
Sung by Bon Jovi Once upon a time Not so long ago Tommy used to work on the docks Union's been on strike He's down on his luck it's tough So tough Gina works the diner all day Working for her man She brings home her pay for love For love She says, "We've got to hold on to what we've got It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot for love We'll give it a shot" Ohh, we're half way there Oh-oh, livin' on a prayer Take my hand, we'll make it I swear Oh-oh, livin' on a prayer Tommy's got his six string in hock Now he's holding in When he used to make it talk So tough, ooh it's tough Gina dreams of running away When she cries in the night Tommy whispers "Baby it's okay Someday" We've got to hold on to what we've got It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot for love We'll give it a shot Ohh, We're half way there Livin' on a prayer Take my hand, we'll make it I swear Livin' on a prayer Livin' on a prayer Ooh we've got to hold on, ready or not You live for the fight when it's all that you've got We're half way there Livin' on a prayer Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear Livin' on a prayer We're half way there Livin' on a prayer Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear Livin' on a prayer We're half way there Livin' on a prayer Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear This past Saturday, I got lost. How in the world does that happen in this day and age? Well, to put it simply, hubris and a over-reliance on technology. Saturday I woke up at 4 am and left the house at 5 am. I am training for the Shamrock Marathon (it will be my fifth) that happens in March in Virginia Beach. I signed up for this marathon about 2 months before hand and started training thereafter. I am not an amazing athlete, nor am I a running superstar. But I thought "I can do this." I just dont want to quit, once I start something. Saturday my training goal was to run about 15 or 16 miles. And be home by about 10 am. Outside temp was 36 and I felt good in a hat, sunglasses, a long sleeve shirt, and a sweatshirt. (And pants, obviously). I ran east to the beach, and the GPS said that was 8 miles. Perfect! Toe in the water (freezing), and a quick drink break at a Starbucks. I checked the GPS and it told me instead of running home, I could run to the gym where my wife and kids were at the time. Distance? About 8 miles. Great. Total would be around 16 for the day. I set off and ran into the headwind, then turned south. I checked my GPS a few times. It kept telling me that the distance to destination was increasing as I knew I was getting geographically closer. This was disconcerting. I ended up at a Food Lion to get a chocolate milk. The wife was growing increasingly worried. So was I. Oh well, I thought, at least I will get in a good training run, and its gotta be 16 miles, right? WRONG. I finally reached my destination at almost 12:30 pm. Statistics: drank a juice box, a chocolate milk, ate a larabar, ran or walked for 5 hours and 55 minutes, and finished with a milage of 21.65 miles. I ran longer than the longest training run on my program. With almost nothing to eat and an unsafe amount of liquid to drink. I was very tired. But I was glad I finished, uninjured. Whats the moral of this story? Sometimes you think you can do something yourself, without any help (professional or otherwise), whether its running on this training run, or writing your will, or taking care of your aging parents. And you know what? Most of the time you CAN do that thing by yourself. BUT, here's the catch. Its not going to go as smoothly as it could, it may not end well, and you (or a loved one) could be seriously hurt in the process. You might have all kinds of problems that you cannot solve during the course of the action. The end results of the action may not be anywhere close to what you sought to do in the first place. And if you are physically, fiscally, or emotionally damaged in the process, was it worth it in the end? I was glad to run the run that I did on Saturday, dont get me wrong, but I was not happy that I trusted the GPS and didn't listen to my body. I could have been seriously injured during the course of me "gutting it out" along the streets of Virginia Beach. My body temperature was off the whole rest of the day. You can see what I mean. I should have preplanned the run better, and run according to the plan. Please take some time, after you have read this blog, and think about an area of your life where you are trying to "gut it out" or "go it alone." Just because you CAN, doesnt mean you SHOULD. Get help if you need it from a friend or family member. Its okay to need help! And if that help necessitates a good estate planning lawyer or elder law lawyer, give me a call. You can rely on me! Today's song is "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. This was the last song I listened to as I finished the run Saturday. It has been really inspirational to me throughout my running life, which started in the early 2000's. I dont know of any more motivational song than this one. It is supposedly quite autobiographical of the artist--if you take one thing from this song, realize that he talks a lot about "making it" in the music industry, and know he did succeed when all the odds were against him. Article on the song HERE. "Lose Yourself"
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it, or just let it slip? Yo! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's choking, how? Everybody's joking now The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow! Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity, ope There goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad but he won't Give up that easy, no, he won't have it, he knows His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter, he's dope He knows that but he's broke, he's so stagnant, he knows When he goes back to this mobile home, that's when it's Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody Better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him, and You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better… His soul's escaping through this hole that is gaping This world is mine for the taking, make me king As we move toward a New World Order A normal life is boring; but superstardom's Close to post-mortem, it only grows harder Homie grows hotter, he blows, it's all over These hoes is all on him, coast-to-coast shows He's known as the Globetrotter, lonely roads God only knows, he's grown farther from home, he's no father He goes home and barely knows his own daughter But hold your nose, 'cause here goes the cold water These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold product They moved on to the next schmoe who flows He nose-dove and sold nada, and so the soap opera Is told, it unfolds, I suppose it's old, partner But the beat goes on: da da dum da dum da da da da You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better… No more games, I'ma change what you call rage Tear this motherfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged I was playin' in the beginning, the mood all changed I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept rhymin' and stepped right in the next cypher Best believe somebody's payin' the Pied Piper All the pain inside amplified by the Fact that I can't get by with my 9-to-5 And I can't provide the right type of life for my family 'Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers And there's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life And these times are so hard, and it's gettin' even harder Tryna feed and water my seed, plus teeter-totter Caught up between bein' a father and a prima donna Baby mama drama, screamin' on her, too much for me to wanna Stay in one spot, another day of monotony's Gotten me to the point I'm like a snail, I've got To formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot Success is my only motherfuckin' option, failure's not Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got To go; I cannot grow old in Salem's Lot So here I go, it's my shot: feet, fail me not This may be the only opportunity that I got You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go (go) You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better lose yourself in the music The moment, you own it, you better never let it go (go) You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo You better… You can do anything you set your mind to, man Writer(s): jeffrey bass, luis resto, marshall mathers Here is something to consider and reflect upon--are you or a loved one getting older? Are you finding it hard to get around? Ponder what your future mobility will be, and read the below article by Lisa Caucci. Song video just for fun.
"A Matter Of Trust" lyricsBilly Joel Lyrics Play "A Matter Of Trust" on Amazon Music "A Matter Of Trust" Some love is just a lie of the heart The cold remains of what began with a passionate start And they may not want it to end But it will it's just a question of when I've lived long enough to have learned The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned But that won't happen to us Because it's always been a matter of trust I know you're an emotional girl It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world I can't offer you proof But you're going to face a moment of truth It's hard when you're always afraid You just recover when another belief is betrayed So break my heart if you must It's a matter of trust You can't go the distance With too much resistance I know you have doubts But for God's sake don't shut me out This time you've got nothing to lose You can take it, you can leave it Whatever you choose I won't hold back anything And I'll walk a way a fool or a king Some love is just a lie of the mind It's make believe until its only a matter of time And some might have learned to adjust But then it never was a matter of trust I'm sure you're aware love We've both had our share of Believing too long When the whole situation was wrong Some love is just a lie of the soul A constant battle for the ultimate state of control After you've heard lie upon lie There can hardly be a question of why Some love is just a lie of the heart The cold remains of what began with a passionate start But that can't happen to us Because it's always been a matter of trust Do you already have a trust established as part of your estate plan? Have your circumstances changed? Maybe that trust you wrote up back in 1975 is no longer a good fit for you. Call me today to discuss possible alterations that may better serve your needs.
"A Matter Of Trust" Sung and written by Billy Joel Some love is just a lie of the heart The cold remains of what began with a passionate start And they may not want it to end But it will it's just a question of when I've lived long enough to have learned The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned But that won't happen to us Because it's always been a matter of trust I know you're an emotional girl It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world I can't offer you proof But you're going to face a moment of truth It's hard when you're always afraid You just recover when another belief is betrayed So break my heart if you must It's a matter of trust You can't go the distance With too much resistance I know you have doubts But for God's sake don't shut me out This time you've got nothing to lose You can take it, you can leave it Whatever you choose I won't hold back anything And I'll walk a way a fool or a king Some love is just a lie of the mind It's make believe until its only a matter of time And some might have learned to adjust But then it never was a matter of trust I'm sure you're aware love We've both had our share of Believing too long When the whole situation was wrong Some love is just a lie of the soul A constant battle for the ultimate state of control After you've heard lie upon lie There can hardly be a question of why Some love is just a lie of the heart The cold remains of what began with a passionate start But that can't happen to us Because it's always been a matter of trust Are you looking to establish a trust as part of your estate plan? It might be the right thing to do. Contact me soon to figure out if so...
Lesson from life: everything changes.
Even if you have an existing Will, there are many events that occur which may necessitate changes in your Will. Some of these are:
A Will may be modified, added to, or entirely changed at any time before your death provided you are mentally and physically competent and desire to change your Will. You should consider revising your Will whenever there are changes in the size of your estate. For example, when your children are young, you may think it best to have a trust for them so they do not come into absolute ownership of property until they are mature. Note that if you draw lines through items, erase or write over, or add notations to the original Will, it can be destroyed as a legal document. Either a new Will should be legally prepared or a codicil signed to legally change portions of the Will. Contact our firm today! "The Best Things In Life Are Free" -- Sung by Sam Cooke The moon belongs to everyone Best things in life they're free Stars belong to everyone They cling there for you and for me Flowers in spring The robins that sings The sunbeams that shine They're yours and their mine Love can come to everyone Best things in life they're free Moon belongs to everyone The best things in life, they're free Stars belong to everyone They glitter there for you and for me They are yours and me Flowers in spring The robins that sing Sunbeams that shine They're yours and their mine Love can come to everyone Best things in life they're free All of the good things Every one of the better things The best, best things in life They're free Writer(s): BROWN, HENDERSON, DE SYLVA Lets talk about free wills. Online wills. Free online wills. Or even cheap online wills. YES, you can do your own will for free. YES, you can get will forms online for free (or very cheap). Since they are free, they must be good right? At least the lawyer won't get my hard earned money, you might think. I just have to say this--the best will or estate plan is NOT free. It is not even "cheap and online". The will that you can write yourself or that you buy off the internet is not written by a lawyer. The law, in the area of wills and estate planning, is complicated. You are a very smart person, so I hope you wont fall for the promise of something being free or cheap as being the same as something being good for your needs! Especially in this area. I'll post the text of a recent article here, with the link here. By Rachel Hartman, Contributor
Writing down how to divide your assets is an essential start to estate planning that can be easily overlooked. More than half of Americans do not have a will, according to a 2017 survey by Caring.com. “Whether you are young or old, rich or poor, everyone can benefit from having a last will and testament,” says John P. Farrell, an estate planning and probate lawyer at The Farrell Law Firm in Marietta, Georgia. With a will in place, you’ll reduce the risk of family disputes later, as well as potentially high legal fees and tax consequences. Today’s online tools allow you to efficiently create a will. A quick search will lead to various websites that offer to help you draft a will in a fraction of an hour. However, before clicking through, it’s important to evaluate the options available. Follow these guidelines to know when to use an online solution and when a different setup is a better fit. Know the options. There are essentially three ways to write a will. “You can prepare it yourself, use a do-it-yourself service or seek the assistance of an estate planner,” Farrell says. If you opt to draft a will on your own, you’ll want to make sure you have a solid grasp of your assets and can share detailed instructions regarding beneficiaries. Some retailers offer a will kit to help you think through the steps. If you use an online service, you’ll have access to software that guides you through the process. “You don’t receive any legal advice with this option,” says Tim Hewson, president of USLegalWills.com. Many of the online options allow you to make updates over time if your circumstances change. Asking for professional help to create a will gives you the opportunity to have an expert help you think through details. “This is likely to give you a well-drafted will, but it is the most expensive and least convenient approach,” Hewson says. Check the laws where you live. Before grabbing a pen or looking online for a service, research the legal requirements in your area. “When it comes to wills, the laws can vary widely from state to state and from country to country,” says Carole Brody Fleet, author of “Loss is a Four-Letter Word: A Bereavement Boot Camp for the Widowed.” In some states, the will can be handwritten, but other states require a typewritten version to make it valid. Some states require just two witnesses, while others ask that the will be witnessed, notarized and typewritten. Consider your estate. Your assets, as well as your family situation, can have a big impact on the considerations to be made when drafting a will. “There are many people who have written their own wills, and the estate has been fine,” Farrell says. “This type of estate planning, however, is usually suited for the most basic of estates, such as someone with a single piece of real estate and a small amount in investments.” How to Assemble Your Financial A-Team If you have a larger estate or heirs with certain medical conditions, you may benefit from a professional who can work with your situation. “If you have a child with special needs receiving government benefits and you want to set up a trust for them so that their inheritance doesn’t negatively impact their benefits, you should probably seek legal advice,” Hewson says. You might also opt for an attorney if you want to reduce your exposure to probate fees, which are generally charged when the will is reviewed to make sure it is valid. “One common strategy is to move your assets into a revocable living trust so that they are not subject to probate fees,” Hewson says. An estate planner could help you sort through the costs involved with setting up a living trust to see if it is a financially smart move. “An online service would not be able to manage your assets in this way,” Hewson says. Compare costs. A handwritten or typed will can be created at no cost. Many online services set a price at less than $100 for a will. “Most estate planners charge more than your average do-it-yourself service,” Farrell says. For help with a will, an attorney will likely charge several hundred dollars or more. If you write a will on your own, be specific when relating your wishes. “The costs may be on the back end if the process of probating your will becomes complicated because your will isn’t clear about where everything should go,” Farrell says. If you have a complex situation, you could ultimately pay less by using an attorney. “Part of the benefit of working with an attorney is that most attorneys have helped hundreds, sometimes thousands, of families work through decisions,” says Steven M. Zelinger, an estate planning attorney at The Law Office of Steven M. Zelinger in Philadelphia. A professional can offer insight into setting up guardians for minor children or appointing an individual to be in charge of the distribution of the estate. “There are often tax considerations the average person would not know about,” Zelinger says. Tell heirs where the will is located. Regardless of the way you draft a will, keep the final version in a safe spot and let others know about it. “At a time of loss, the last thing that your loved ones need is to go on a scavenger hunt for paperwork," Fleet says. "This is possibly the greatest gift that you can leave behind – the gift of organization.” |
AuthorJeff Sodoma, MPA, Esq. is a lawyer based in Virginia Beach, Virginia Blog!Hello, there! Welcome to my blog. I will use this blog as a platform for my writing. I will write about topics in the legal world, certainly, as well as everything else under the sun, because I have many interests (and viewpoints). All views expressed in this blog, unless otherwise noted, are mine alone. One of my interests is music--my wife believes that I should go on "Beat Shazam" because I know so many songs--and I will be, from time to time, analyzing song lyrics and how they relate to the legal world.
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